Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year's Resolutions

Okay... I said I would put these up here, so here goes. I don't know why this is hard... but I am inspired by Theresa ( who usually takes the lead in upfrontness and honesty - thank you friend!)

I think I fear that they would be considered cliche or boring.. or worse that having them out there only makes any failures that much more public, but at the same time I realize there is something powerful in accountability. It was the perfectionsistic part of me that would never claim to have goals just so I would never risk failure. I don't necessarily succeed any more than I used to, but I am less afraid to try now. I won't include all the specific "hows" for the boredom factor, but here are mine....:

1.Daily time in His Word.
I want to really learn to love Him with all of my heart. I can only love Him if I know Him...I can only know Him by spending time with Him & in what He reveals of Himself, not with who I think He is in my own head. I want to "grow up in (my) salvation". I see there is so much more... I want to take it in. I acknowledge that doesn't come by just "wishing" about who I want to be in Him... but by pursuing Him.

2. Daily Listening and Prayer.
This is tied together with the next one, but I too, am tired of the "falling asleep" prayers I tend to attempt. Or self centered prayers. I want to understand more wisdom & peace that grows out of a relationship to Him in prayer.

3. Pursue Peace.
The "be still and know" kind. Be anxious in nothing? I think much of my compulsive eating or silly financial decisions, or irritability with others, esp. family come from my refusal to sit back and identify with the peace of my Father. I stay wrapped up in my own little "type A" personality, with a little bit of "it's all dependent on me" drama thrown in there, and hence.. the mess. Usually, I'm the only one who thinks something's a mess, and I make it a bigger mess by me stress. I don't think that part of me is "in His image". I see Him able to rest, to wait, to be patient. I have to grow in this.

4. Pursue Health.
For me this is not just weight loss ( although that is a major component,) but a change of sleep habits, exercise, etc. I can only serve one master. In this area, it's usually not Him, or at least the fruits of who or what I serve don't seem consistent with the fruit of my Father. I want to honor that my body is His temple, and ultimately made for His use. My 12 am bedtimes and 5:30 risings leave me irritable, and grouchy. My lack of exercise and poor eating habits only add to the lack of energy. I fight with myself over my attitude, yet I am really at the center of the cycle in the first place. I know He created me for more than this. I'm afraid it starts with more peace and simplicity than I would like to admit or pursue.

5. Pursue a debt free life.
How many seminars? How many books?
'Let no debt remain outstanding except the unending debt to love one another... ' - Oh how I want to get there. I have been so blessed by other's generosity... I long to live more on that side than where I am at now. There is something valuable to be said for the longing in my life... it wasn't always there... the longing was for other things.. hence the debt. But I really desire to be out of debt ... and freed up to be in that realm of giving.. spending less time thinking of saving and paying. There is a joy.. an abundance in those who aren't tied to their bills. I realize that the "meantime" ( THANKS STUART...) finds me needing to pursue contentment & faithfulness, to pay off what we owe to whomever we owe it... and integrity & contentment is a worthwhile pursuit - so much He has for us to learn and give even now. Maybe it's just that I'm more and more on board with not being tied to this earth.

Well... there it is. 2006, or maybe life. ;-)
I'm most thankful that He says every morning His mercy is new. A good start, a new start, is always refreshing. Thankfully, we don't have to wait once a year... or be depressed when we already blew it.

He is always the place to start life over, anyday of the week.

Well - it's almost 10:30. Bedtime. ;-)

3 comments:

Danna said...

I am so blessed to have you as a friend/sister etc, etc!!! This blog inspired me and challenged me! Thank you for allowing me to be part of this journey. I am glad God doesn't leave us to go it alone! LOVE YOU!

Theresa said...

Beautiful!

Know, my friend, that I'm right beside you the whole journey. (I'll try not to poke and prod too much... just a tiny bit.) ;o)

I love you and I love your heart and your desire to make him the center of every part of your life, from health to debt. You are awesome and an inspiration!

Marcy M. said...

Heather, I'm really blessed to be starting another year with someone who inspires me like you do. I'm thankful for all of my friendships this year, for everything we learn from each other.

Geez, I am a cheese ball tonight.