Saturday, March 04, 2006

Loving what He loves, and less of self.

Been reading C.S. Lewis's "The Great Divorce" and John Piper's "The Pleasures of God".

I think it somewhat of a divine coincidence to be reading the two at the same time, for the thoughts spurred on by writers who never knew each other , and the timing of each for the needs I have personally are just amazing.

In Ohio, at my grandmother's death, I experienced a deep hurt, a spiritual attack of sorts, one that if I explained might seem shallow to most, yet I knew was intended to transform me to the core. I've not really been able to write about it, and don't know that I will, but still find myself going through the transformation that it initiated even today, and the readings compound the process.

I wanted to share a quote from C. S. Lewis, that was especially clenching to my heart in this joyful yet difficult process of trying to give up myself :

"Son", he said, "ye cannot in your present state understand eternity....But ye can get some likeness of it if ye say that both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. Not only this valley but all earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only twilight in that town, but all their life on earth, too will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say say 'Let me but have this and I'll take the consequences': little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin...."

I feel that this vision, uniquely stated for me today but that echos the timeless truths God has told us about Himself, is so critical to focus on as I try to 'love what He loves' more than I love my own desires.

As I look back ... I eagerly desire to see His victory at every turn rather than my own poor efforts at self satisfaction. What a vision, to be able to behold your own life through His power and working, ... to not have to sum up yourself at the end ... but rather to have it all defined by Him....


Angie said...

Deep things to contemplate... You're thoughts are no playground! I really like that about you.

I'm still considering coming to Tulsa... Do you think it's too late to be feasible? I'll try to e-mail you and let you know what I'm thinking.

Anyway... I always look forward to your thoughts, Heather. Blog on, girlfriend!

heather said...

I would SO celebrate your coming!!! PLEASE COME!! :-)
Let me know!!!
Love you!