Sunday, September 25, 2005

Unwelcome , Uninvited , Come on in anyways.

Do you ever have one of those times where you end up experiencing a lot more than you felt you signed up for?
We had a ladies retreat at Memorial this weekend. I'm sad to say, I hadn't prepared mentally or spiritually for participating. In fact, I was packing at 7:05. ( It began at 7:00 pm.) Thank goodness, many women had already committed themselves to praying over it and giving it into God's hands to be used for His glory. I really think it was.
It was fun, but as the day went on, it became very hard. I went for popcorn and laughter with others, and hopefully a good uplifting message.
I found myself being put on the potter's wheel, being stretched and squeezed and molded, again. Did I say I just came for the popcorn and laughter?
About a year or two ago, I had shared with some ladies my need for God to heal some heart issues in me - that I wanted to be able to cry and show emotion with and for others. For those of you who were there, I am certainly a "10:00 news" lady when it comes to sharing my life. After our morning session, Theresa (thanks for carrying that burden with me, friend, ) celebrated a small victory - saying "I'm so glad to see you crying!" . I thought it ironic that Adrienne, who had been my assigned partner, and who didn't know me well, might need to be educated on my normal non-emotional demeanor. What we got to experience in getting to know each other was anything but flat and non-emotional. I'm glad He chose her though - He's good at that.
And He is good about coming into areas of our heart, even if He wasn't invited that particular day, and doing what is best for us. I had my day somewhat planned, and deviating from it to take this emotional detour was right and good for Him to require of me. I was reluctant to open the door, even though I'd asked Him to drop in and do something about this area before. I'm glad He is pushy at the right time. I think I'm not alone in thinking that while I desire the outcome, I've never really got my hand waving furiously in the air to volunteer for the process of being broken.
I'm just always thankful He knows best, and is patient and persistent in bringing it about.
I went home with a headache and a freed up heart. And a doorprize. :)


Anonymous said...

Heather, you cried without me! I'm so jealous!

But so happy you had that experience!

Marcy M.

Danna said...

God is so good! Thank you for sharing your heart. I love you so much anyway, but you're right: this blogging thing is helping me to you know you in a way that just can't happen with a "Hi, how ya doin'?" at church! (It makes me miss those Workshop days!)I'm embarrassed and a little bit ashamed to say that I didn't come to the retreat because the popcorn and laughter didn't appeal to me. I'm SO glad that God did amazing things; He always does!