Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Water is a good theme this week. :-)

Yeah!! Now I can feel like I'm in a fishbowl when you read this!! Haha! I am so excited to change the look of this blog - (Thanks Theresa! ) but in the process I cut my picture in half, and I guess after that completely off. It took me two weeks to figure out how to put a picture on in the first place! So just look at the fish.....

These last few weeks have been busy, challenging, and messy. I don't like to write when I feel like my life is messy, ... and life is often messy, hence the long gaps. It's still messy tonight, but I am a recovering perfectionist, so this is therapy. :-)

Of most significance this week was my husband's decision to be baptized Sunday.
(Julia told him later that night that she was so proud of him. - Because he went underwater! That takes on new meaning when it was the very thing you feared about swimming lessons all summer!!!)

For many, I'm sure, this was a surprising event. I certainly know he didn't wake up Sunday morning with that on his "to do" list either. I can remember the first discussion about some of his thoughts & doubts surrounding about his baptism as a young person occured even before we were married. There haven't been many discussions about it, maybe 5 or 6 "mental wrestlings" about it over the last 10 years, but nevertheless, it has always been there.
Jason shared later that God used the bible class that morning to prepare him and deal with his pride, and the sermon to deal with him directly over this long struggle - every argument he presented was answered by God's Spirit, all the way around. When the lesson was over, he was already in tears, and as he stood up to walk forward, he just leaned over and said "I'm done."

What victory in those words.

I don't know how to vicariously experience someone else's freedom or salvation, but I feel like that moment was the closest I've ever been, personally. The beginning of freedom is found only at the end of oneself, and that was as much at the end of himself as I have ever had the privilege of knowing Jason.

It reminded me again of how much I am my own prison guard, when my God calls me to freedom. Sometimes freedom, in its purest form, doesn't look fashionable to me. I'd prefer a nice, clean, competent look over a messy, mistaken, desperate look. The irony is that the fashionable look is just a imitation overcoat, - never the real thing, inside or out.

"I'm done."

While being cleaned and sealed and redeemed is a beautiful gift poured into us in an instance, "I'm done" is a phrase worth repeating daily in the life of every follow of Christ. To begin every single morning at the end of ourselves is to accept the invitation into true freedom and life, every day.

A special thanks to those of you who celebrated this day with us.


Michelle said...

WOW!!! okay so i fell off the face of the earth recently and have now arrived back to rediscover your blogs. hooray and i am so glad i did. Heather your posts on relationships was something i needed to hear. granted i probably didn't catch as much as i could since it is nearly 2 a.m. but nonetheless it helped me. :-) And this post was fantastic as well.

You are not allowed to dissappear from the blog world for long periods :-) just so you know.

your posts are too good for you dissappear for long periods lol

I love you and i will talk to you later

.... wow pretty sure that is the longest comment i have ever left anyone.:-)

Angie said...

In the words of Madea, "Halleluyer!!!"

Jason's re-awakening is a beautiful thing... And I'm sure God will use it as a mirror for others to re-examine their own commitment to the Father!

Personally, I have a re-awakening story too... (though I'm sure there are tons of differences.) Although I believe that His grace covered me in my young life (baptized at 8 years old), years later I got this big picture of what a committed life to Him was all about. I had such an infantile view of Him for so long... I wanted to finally express my wholehearted obedience to Him. It wasn't as if I was afraid the first one "didn't take" and I was afraid if I died in 5 minutes I'd go to Hell... I just finally gave up my stubborn will to control even my own salvation experience and let Him be sufficient. Ironically, that's when I became the most motivated to respond! It was quite a moment... It was after my AIM time. Jay Jarboe baptized me. Heath Grisso and Paige Foreman were my heart's witnesses! It felt both awkward and very right at the same time!!!

Jason, friend, you sure are done.

Wish I could've been there to smother you all in big ol' wet hugs!

Much, much love to your family! Celebrate good times, come on!!!

Danna said...

I think that day will stay with me for years and years to come! WOW! Thank you both for sharing your lives with me! I KNOW I am a better person for knowing and loving you!

Anonymous said...

And for those of us who have experienced Jason's (and Heather's)love, honesty, tenderness, challenge, commitment and integrity throughout the years, we are richer and are lives are more meaningful because of it!!

Extremely proud and honored to be your brother,


Anonymous said...

Double ditto on what Stuart said. Love you both...flee

John said...

Wow, Heather. Awesome. Really cool. I really hate it when people compliment me on how good or wise or mature I am, because I know that sure, at times I am, but at others, I can be the worst, most foolish, and immature person around. So, with that said, I'll do it to you. I really admire you and Jason's marriage. To think that I can share a very deep and personal relationship like that is awesome. I wish that Morgan and I can be close like that, but I know that it comes from being in wedlock. That is all the exhorting I'll be doing. I know how you feel about writing, though. Jesus lived a messy life, though. I really like "Dead Man" from Jars of Clay. All of that Christian music you listen to is wearing me down.