A couple of months ago, my friend Jennifer agreed to teach the 1st grade at church on Wed. nights. She decided to do a video series for the kids - "Bibleman". (Available at Mardels). Little did I know how powerfully this would impact my children. (WOW! What an invaluable gift you gave us my friend! Thank you! )
The series in class has ended ... but it has only begun in our home. We are obsessed - and for once, I'm completely okay with that. In the last couple of weeks, Eli has randomly quoted verses that he's learned - and not without understanding of their application in life. I 've even learned a few verses from him! A few of my favorite random quotes coming out of his mouth recently .. ( and yes, completely on his own....)
(after a conversation about the devil and pride)
"Mom - that's just like what it says in Isaiah 2:17! " The arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day"
(and yes... I had to look this up to see if it really said that!)
(after talking about why Jesus might have said to not even be angry when talking about the commandment to not murder...)
"Oh! that's like "Lead us not into temptation!"
(while talking about the heart in a bible lesson)
"Mom - I shouldn't have disobeyed you a few minutes ago. Because the bible says 'He who obeys the commands protects his life.' "
I love having a hero that my kids can emulate... our swords have become "swords of the spirit" - and the "bad guys" really are the ones they'll fight the rest of their life... pride, anger, disobedience, lies...etc. Bible man and Biblegirl fly around in their capes dueling and partnering against evil much of the day. And I feel safer. :-)
In a world FULL of subtle, destructive & heartbreaking influence on our kids... here's my shameless plug for the breath of fresh and energizing air Bibleman brings!
Monday, July 09, 2007
Grandmas have the touch.
Jason's mom and step-dad were here to visit this weekend, which was fun. The kids were sad after they left.
This morning Julia woke up, and wanted some breakfast. (Which usually has been a cold poptart and a glass of milk.)
When I set the poptart and milk down in front of her, she said "Grandma McCall makes the best ones of these."
I asked her why she thought that and she said : "Because she roasts them."
What a novel idea. :-) So we've begun 'roasting' them, in honor of Grandma.
This morning Julia woke up, and wanted some breakfast. (Which usually has been a cold poptart and a glass of milk.)
When I set the poptart and milk down in front of her, she said "Grandma McCall makes the best ones of these."
I asked her why she thought that and she said : "Because she roasts them."
What a novel idea. :-) So we've begun 'roasting' them, in honor of Grandma.
Friday, July 06, 2007
37 things I love about Jason
I always have funny stories to tell on my husband, but I rarely take the time to share the wonderful things about him. His birthday today gives me a good chance to reflect on 37 years worth of wonderful… and share it with you!
1. First and foremost… my dream, before I knew much of anything else I wanted, was to marry a man who would love God more than he loved me. I knew that if that were a reality, our marriage could weather anything. God was faithful to that prayer!
2. Jason really does love God with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength. He’s not a perfect man, but he’s honest - and will put anything at all before God to be transformed and changed in himself.
Out of that love He has for God flows the love he has for people....
3. He roots for the underdog .. but not in the sense of cheering from the sidelines. He actually gets involved – and runs along side them.
4. He cheers on the overwhelmed. He has amazing patience with people who are tired and depressed or feel like life is too much. He’s never too busy to talk to someone who really needs it.
5. He serves tirelessly. (That might not seem like much until you realize he serves me almost daily and I am pretty difficult to live with!) I don’t know that a day can go by that he hasn’t done something kind and thoughtful for me or for the kids.
6.He offer and asks forgiveness to a degree that few people do. In fact, I don’t know that I even fully understood the importance of those concepts before I met him. The first few years of our marriage took quite a bit of modeling for me to get it…but since then I have been able to more fully understand the concept of the Grace of God. After I watched Jason offer grace so unconditionally for years, I finally began to believe that God offered me the same.
7. He loves to play NERTS and always beats me. (it’s his birthday, and the only reason I would admit it. )
8. He loves children. If any of you know him…. he hates animals. Early on in our marriage he let me know that we wouldn’t have dogs (though I loved them.) It was watching a little child enjoy a dog that eventually led to him to reverse that decision – and more than once, despite the health problems it caused for him.
9. He loves to laugh. He has disarmed me more than once in the middle of an argument simply by busting out in laughter at himself when it’s gotten way to serious. The first few years I didn’t know what to do with that. ( I thought it had meant that I “won”. ) Little by little, through the years, I learned to laugh more quickly too. Life is much better when you can laugh at yourself.
10. He loves to talk. He just enjoys people – interacting with them, experiencing life with them, thinking with them. And I love that about him.
And while there are many more things that I could write… I wanted to put a few things just for him that I love. (and yes Jason… some that I will miss if you die first.) :-)
11. your singing
12. your laundry skills & laundry "day"
13. your overcommitment to great things because you desire to serve people
14. your “killing time” conversation up that hideous mountain in Ecuador. That was good motivation for me to say “I do” to you. And it’s come in handy since then.
15. X men
16. your ability to drive 18 hours and let me sleep the whole time
17. your allergic emotional reaction to caffeine
18. your tireless energy with the kids
19. your willingness to lead if leadership is needed -no matter what the situation
20. your refusal to give up doing what you think is right – regardless of when life is difficult or unfair
21. your ability to think of a song for almost any occasion
22. your refusal to be deterred by my unending “looks” ( especially when you are singing)
23. your ability to have a big word for almost any occasion
24. that you are willing to introduce yourself to my family, and secretly tell me who they are when I have forgotten
25. your goal to present me without ‘blemish or wrinkle’ to Christ
26. your willingness to say your sorry when I’m wrong
27. your willingness to wait when it takes me too long to say I’m wrong
28. your desire to look people in the eye to make sure they feel cared about
29. your willingness to give up the Simpsons after years because of what you desired for our kids
30. your love of making a tent… or making snowmen… or buying table -top dodgeball.
31. you are simple.. you love rock tumblers, coin sorters and can read a book so deep I can’t even finish the first chapter –and finish two more books while I’m still trying.
32. your investment in mentoring
33. you are humble – genuinely – and will admit if you’re not being such in a moment.
34. your willingness to talk to a lot of people even if you are tired
35. your willingness to lead… even when you feel inadequate
36. your energy in the morning
37. You truly continue to strive to love God above all else!
Happy Birthday Jason! I lam a rich woman - and so are those who have you as a friend. I love you!
1. First and foremost… my dream, before I knew much of anything else I wanted, was to marry a man who would love God more than he loved me. I knew that if that were a reality, our marriage could weather anything. God was faithful to that prayer!
2. Jason really does love God with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength. He’s not a perfect man, but he’s honest - and will put anything at all before God to be transformed and changed in himself.
Out of that love He has for God flows the love he has for people....
3. He roots for the underdog .. but not in the sense of cheering from the sidelines. He actually gets involved – and runs along side them.
4. He cheers on the overwhelmed. He has amazing patience with people who are tired and depressed or feel like life is too much. He’s never too busy to talk to someone who really needs it.
5. He serves tirelessly. (That might not seem like much until you realize he serves me almost daily and I am pretty difficult to live with!) I don’t know that a day can go by that he hasn’t done something kind and thoughtful for me or for the kids.
6.He offer and asks forgiveness to a degree that few people do. In fact, I don’t know that I even fully understood the importance of those concepts before I met him. The first few years of our marriage took quite a bit of modeling for me to get it…but since then I have been able to more fully understand the concept of the Grace of God. After I watched Jason offer grace so unconditionally for years, I finally began to believe that God offered me the same.
7. He loves to play NERTS and always beats me. (it’s his birthday, and the only reason I would admit it. )
8. He loves children. If any of you know him…. he hates animals. Early on in our marriage he let me know that we wouldn’t have dogs (though I loved them.) It was watching a little child enjoy a dog that eventually led to him to reverse that decision – and more than once, despite the health problems it caused for him.
9. He loves to laugh. He has disarmed me more than once in the middle of an argument simply by busting out in laughter at himself when it’s gotten way to serious. The first few years I didn’t know what to do with that. ( I thought it had meant that I “won”. ) Little by little, through the years, I learned to laugh more quickly too. Life is much better when you can laugh at yourself.
10. He loves to talk. He just enjoys people – interacting with them, experiencing life with them, thinking with them. And I love that about him.
And while there are many more things that I could write… I wanted to put a few things just for him that I love. (and yes Jason… some that I will miss if you die first.) :-)
11. your singing
12. your laundry skills & laundry "day"
13. your overcommitment to great things because you desire to serve people
14. your “killing time” conversation up that hideous mountain in Ecuador. That was good motivation for me to say “I do” to you. And it’s come in handy since then.
15. X men
16. your ability to drive 18 hours and let me sleep the whole time
17. your allergic emotional reaction to caffeine
18. your tireless energy with the kids
19. your willingness to lead if leadership is needed -no matter what the situation
20. your refusal to give up doing what you think is right – regardless of when life is difficult or unfair
21. your ability to think of a song for almost any occasion
22. your refusal to be deterred by my unending “looks” ( especially when you are singing)
23. your ability to have a big word for almost any occasion
24. that you are willing to introduce yourself to my family, and secretly tell me who they are when I have forgotten
25. your goal to present me without ‘blemish or wrinkle’ to Christ
26. your willingness to say your sorry when I’m wrong
27. your willingness to wait when it takes me too long to say I’m wrong
28. your desire to look people in the eye to make sure they feel cared about
29. your willingness to give up the Simpsons after years because of what you desired for our kids
30. your love of making a tent… or making snowmen… or buying table -top dodgeball.
31. you are simple.. you love rock tumblers, coin sorters and can read a book so deep I can’t even finish the first chapter –and finish two more books while I’m still trying.
32. your investment in mentoring
33. you are humble – genuinely – and will admit if you’re not being such in a moment.
34. your willingness to talk to a lot of people even if you are tired
35. your willingness to lead… even when you feel inadequate
36. your energy in the morning
37. You truly continue to strive to love God above all else!
Happy Birthday Jason! I lam a rich woman - and so are those who have you as a friend. I love you!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Random
I don't know if anyone still reads this anymore. It's not that there hasn't been anything worth writing, ironically, it's that there's little time in the summer to share it!
I haven't posted in a while, and thought about taking the summer off, but Theresa tagged me! And I always want to be tagged. (Residual feelings from often being the last one picked for team sports at summer camp. ) So here goes!
Here are the rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
And so... random facts...
1. I love the weather channel. Because I love rain, and just to know it's happening somewhere in the world makes it a happy thing for me. I especially love severe weather.
2. Small talk is difficult for me. I struggle to have conversations with people unless it's serious - and since it's sometimes not the right place to to have a serious conversation, I make small talk, which I'm no good at. This makes me kind of nerdy and insecure at the same time. (Unless somebody already knows that about me and is okay with it. ) I think at least a quarter of the population feels the same, but it's good for me to say it out loud about myself, anyway.
3. I'm adopted. Which is funny because later in life when my dad adopted two kids I remember wondering how I would deal with someone adopted becoming a part of our family. (It worked out great, by the way. - Adoption's like that.)
4. At # 4, I'm struggling to come up with a random fact. Because I'm boring and don't do small talk well, which anything having to do with me is small talk. That counts as a fact, right?
5. I HATE talking on the phone. This causes problems because I'm a secretary / receptionist.
6. I'm good at faking. That's how I get by with #5.
7. I don't do the laundry in our family. I always ruin clothes and take forever to get them done.
8. I love lists. I also hate them. The organized me fights with the obsessive me. It's sort of the binge/ purge/ binge cycle that I imagine bulimics go through. (Except I'm no thinner at the end of it. )
So I tag: Cindy & Lindsey . ( I, like Theresa, don't follow rules all the time.)
I haven't posted in a while, and thought about taking the summer off, but Theresa tagged me! And I always want to be tagged. (Residual feelings from often being the last one picked for team sports at summer camp. ) So here goes!
Here are the rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
And so... random facts...
1. I love the weather channel. Because I love rain, and just to know it's happening somewhere in the world makes it a happy thing for me. I especially love severe weather.
2. Small talk is difficult for me. I struggle to have conversations with people unless it's serious - and since it's sometimes not the right place to to have a serious conversation, I make small talk, which I'm no good at. This makes me kind of nerdy and insecure at the same time. (Unless somebody already knows that about me and is okay with it. ) I think at least a quarter of the population feels the same, but it's good for me to say it out loud about myself, anyway.
3. I'm adopted. Which is funny because later in life when my dad adopted two kids I remember wondering how I would deal with someone adopted becoming a part of our family. (It worked out great, by the way. - Adoption's like that.)
4. At # 4, I'm struggling to come up with a random fact. Because I'm boring and don't do small talk well, which anything having to do with me is small talk. That counts as a fact, right?
5. I HATE talking on the phone. This causes problems because I'm a secretary / receptionist.
6. I'm good at faking. That's how I get by with #5.
7. I don't do the laundry in our family. I always ruin clothes and take forever to get them done.
8. I love lists. I also hate them. The organized me fights with the obsessive me. It's sort of the binge/ purge/ binge cycle that I imagine bulimics go through. (Except I'm no thinner at the end of it. )
So I tag: Cindy & Lindsey . ( I, like Theresa, don't follow rules all the time.)
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The "rest" of the story...
The end of the story, at least for that night, was that I got up from writing, got dressed, and told my husband I was going to go look for her. It was about 1 am and he looked at me trying to figure out if I was really serious. He believed me when I told him he might want to put some pants on . :-)
I left, drove around in the areas where I thought she might be, and never found her.
There's a part of me that wishes there was more to say, honestly. But the end of the story hasn't happened yet, I think. For me personally, the biggest thing that happened was to get up and go.
There are times that I have done something half heartedly, because I knew it "should" be done, but secretly hoping that whatever "it" was, it would be interrupted, so I could claim I "tried", but never really have to actually face my fears. When I finally made it out to the car that night, I wanted to look. I kept trying one more block, one more street over, just in case. For me, that was the hardest place to get to. I was actually disappointed to not find her.
My hope is that it won't take so long for my heart to get there next time. Because I really think there will be a next time. And I want to be just as passionate as I was that night.
I don't know why it took me so long, apart from fear. Sometimes I think I try so hard to distance myself from my own "proverbial street corner" that I lose touch with the part of my God that was confident to seek us "while we were yet enemies." I delude myself with thoughts of when I first sought God as if that completely overshadowed His coming to the street corner to find me years earlier. I over focus on what I have (or don't have) to offer and in the process completely forget this is all just a retelling of His story, of His greatness. I'm just a narrator. A witness. A recipient, too.
My failures don't negate God's truth or love, they just reveal all I have in common with the person I'm trying to share His love with. (Though Satan, and our own flesh would convince us otherwise.)
I believe He's capable of changing their life and their disappointments because He's changed mine. I believe a relationship with Him can turn a person's world upside down. Are there moments in my life that I haven't let Him? Many. And they only reveal my inadequacy, which we already took for granted. Not His.
You know what I have come to love about our God?
He's not afraid of all the days He didn't make a difference in our lives. He doesn't give up after a few tries. He lets us reject Him and lets us have days and years of apathy. And when our own tiredness with our self finally intersects with someone willing to tell us the truth about Him and His love for us one more time, and this time we're desperate enough to listen, He rejoices, without an ounce of resentment at how long it took us, and with no cynicism about the days to come when we might forget or regress.
That makes no sense to us. The vulnerability of it seems like suicide.
Which is why He stands out above us. Bigger than we will ever be. Worthy of our worship. Oh to connect to and be changed by the God who both rebukes us and embraces us; Who weeps over us and disciplines us. Who mercifully comforts us and gracefully doesn't compromise the truth for us.
Father, help each of us connect to that Wholeness in You.
And Chris - I don't know if I encouraged you, but you certainly encouraged me to let Him keep working on this in me. Thank you. Thank you as well, for not settling to let the wrong opinions define the worth of your life by your mistakes. They are sometimes loud voices to stand up against. Your witness to His ability to overcome ourselves may be the most reliable testimony your friend can hear.
"He who has been forgiven much, loves much. " Luke 7:47
"... these three remain, faith, hope and love... but the greatest of these is love. " 1 Cor. 13:13
"Perfect love drives out fear. " 1 John 4:18
My prayer is that your "forgiven much" is the catalyst for true Agape to spread to others as a hopeful reality you can genuinely testify to. And that all of us grow more, rather than less, in touch with our "forgiven much", for the same reasons.
I left, drove around in the areas where I thought she might be, and never found her.
There's a part of me that wishes there was more to say, honestly. But the end of the story hasn't happened yet, I think. For me personally, the biggest thing that happened was to get up and go.
There are times that I have done something half heartedly, because I knew it "should" be done, but secretly hoping that whatever "it" was, it would be interrupted, so I could claim I "tried", but never really have to actually face my fears. When I finally made it out to the car that night, I wanted to look. I kept trying one more block, one more street over, just in case. For me, that was the hardest place to get to. I was actually disappointed to not find her.
My hope is that it won't take so long for my heart to get there next time. Because I really think there will be a next time. And I want to be just as passionate as I was that night.
I don't know why it took me so long, apart from fear. Sometimes I think I try so hard to distance myself from my own "proverbial street corner" that I lose touch with the part of my God that was confident to seek us "while we were yet enemies." I delude myself with thoughts of when I first sought God as if that completely overshadowed His coming to the street corner to find me years earlier. I over focus on what I have (or don't have) to offer and in the process completely forget this is all just a retelling of His story, of His greatness. I'm just a narrator. A witness. A recipient, too.
My failures don't negate God's truth or love, they just reveal all I have in common with the person I'm trying to share His love with. (Though Satan, and our own flesh would convince us otherwise.)
I believe He's capable of changing their life and their disappointments because He's changed mine. I believe a relationship with Him can turn a person's world upside down. Are there moments in my life that I haven't let Him? Many. And they only reveal my inadequacy, which we already took for granted. Not His.
You know what I have come to love about our God?
He's not afraid of all the days He didn't make a difference in our lives. He doesn't give up after a few tries. He lets us reject Him and lets us have days and years of apathy. And when our own tiredness with our self finally intersects with someone willing to tell us the truth about Him and His love for us one more time, and this time we're desperate enough to listen, He rejoices, without an ounce of resentment at how long it took us, and with no cynicism about the days to come when we might forget or regress.
That makes no sense to us. The vulnerability of it seems like suicide.
Which is why He stands out above us. Bigger than we will ever be. Worthy of our worship. Oh to connect to and be changed by the God who both rebukes us and embraces us; Who weeps over us and disciplines us. Who mercifully comforts us and gracefully doesn't compromise the truth for us.
Father, help each of us connect to that Wholeness in You.
And Chris - I don't know if I encouraged you, but you certainly encouraged me to let Him keep working on this in me. Thank you. Thank you as well, for not settling to let the wrong opinions define the worth of your life by your mistakes. They are sometimes loud voices to stand up against. Your witness to His ability to overcome ourselves may be the most reliable testimony your friend can hear.
"He who has been forgiven much, loves much. " Luke 7:47
"... these three remain, faith, hope and love... but the greatest of these is love. " 1 Cor. 13:13
"Perfect love drives out fear. " 1 John 4:18
My prayer is that your "forgiven much" is the catalyst for true Agape to spread to others as a hopeful reality you can genuinely testify to. And that all of us grow more, rather than less, in touch with our "forgiven much", for the same reasons.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Prostitution
A prostitute makes 'her corner' at the end of my street, tonight. She flashes her smile and shows interest to anyone slowing down.
My first thoughts were of anger. Of punishment. Of jail.
My second thoughts were of fear. Are we living in the right neighborhood? Is crime really on our doorstep? Are our kids safe? Do we need to move?
But most troubling to me is this:
I realized I know her. She's sat right across from me, in my home, on my couch. We've talked and eaten together and laughed.
She's a real person.
She's not the sum of her actions tonight.
Sometimes life seems neater when that stuff stays on the other side of town. Or when it only happens in the movies.
I don't know a lot about it, I realize. I imagine she gets hungry. She wants out. She wants to be numb. She won't think about it. She'll do what she has to do.
And she still has the capacity to wonder if God could love her. Will she find out? How will her story end?
I'd love to say I know what to do tonight, but I don't. I don't want to contribute to the white picket fence version of Christianity. But I sit here nervous as I think about walking out my front door and down to her "workplace" to talk.
I don't know how successful her night will be, but I know at the end of it, she will still be hollow.
And I know that the God she's at least sometimes seeking understands prostitution. After all, His people have prostituted themselves for years.
His concern for us as prostitutes, while at times did involve punishment, never involved fear. He wasn't compelled to move away from us...but rather to pursue us. I now realize it wasn't coincidental that God led me to read the book and retelling of the story of Hosea recently.
Now's the question:
Will I choose to look like my God? Or will I just theorize about it?
Will I be that "minister of reconciliation" that He calls me to be? Or will I just seek the healthy, the safe, the reasonable?
Will I let her know that He offers "freedom for the prisoners, and release to the oppressed", though I fear she'll not believe it for all she's experienced in life? Will I trust Him to answer for her the questions I can't?
Do I risk my own safety to do so when there's another man across the street, likely watching her and making sure she does her job?
It's comfy here in front of my computer.
It's past midnight.
It won't make a difference, really.
I have kids to think about.
No one would blame me for not going out. Some would call me stupid and unwise if I did.
But if I don't go.... if WE don't go.... "crime" does creep up to our doorstep. Crime in the form of people, making desperate choices, missing out on something more. On Someone more.
Because we're too scared to offer the name of our God to transform the "lawbreaker". Because we've decided the prostitute probably wouldn't be open to Him changing her life. Because that's just a bit more messy than we like to deal with.
A reminder to myself, and to you, if you need it.
The gates of Hell will not prevail against that Name... so we have nothing to lose.
"He is no fool, who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what He cannot lose."
And she has everything to gain. Such is the preciousness of the gospel.
She, though she doesn't believe it yet, and may consider me a fool to suggest it, is the target of Christ's affection. I don't have to prove it to her... He has, and will.
But He has entrusted the telling her of that to me. To let her in on it. To show her. To help her believe He could love her by showing her I can and do. To love Him more than I think about myself so she has a shot of receiving all He offers her. To invite her back into my home... back on my couch. To eat together, and laugh together again.
And maybe, to give her a chance for freedom.
If she doesn't take the offer... I've nothing to loose.
If I don't make the offer... she's got nothing better than the corner at the end of my street.
My first thoughts were of anger. Of punishment. Of jail.
My second thoughts were of fear. Are we living in the right neighborhood? Is crime really on our doorstep? Are our kids safe? Do we need to move?
But most troubling to me is this:
I realized I know her. She's sat right across from me, in my home, on my couch. We've talked and eaten together and laughed.
She's a real person.
She's not the sum of her actions tonight.
Sometimes life seems neater when that stuff stays on the other side of town. Or when it only happens in the movies.
I don't know a lot about it, I realize. I imagine she gets hungry. She wants out. She wants to be numb. She won't think about it. She'll do what she has to do.
And she still has the capacity to wonder if God could love her. Will she find out? How will her story end?
I'd love to say I know what to do tonight, but I don't. I don't want to contribute to the white picket fence version of Christianity. But I sit here nervous as I think about walking out my front door and down to her "workplace" to talk.
I don't know how successful her night will be, but I know at the end of it, she will still be hollow.
And I know that the God she's at least sometimes seeking understands prostitution. After all, His people have prostituted themselves for years.
His concern for us as prostitutes, while at times did involve punishment, never involved fear. He wasn't compelled to move away from us...but rather to pursue us. I now realize it wasn't coincidental that God led me to read the book and retelling of the story of Hosea recently.
Now's the question:
Will I choose to look like my God? Or will I just theorize about it?
Will I be that "minister of reconciliation" that He calls me to be? Or will I just seek the healthy, the safe, the reasonable?
Will I let her know that He offers "freedom for the prisoners, and release to the oppressed", though I fear she'll not believe it for all she's experienced in life? Will I trust Him to answer for her the questions I can't?
Do I risk my own safety to do so when there's another man across the street, likely watching her and making sure she does her job?
It's comfy here in front of my computer.
It's past midnight.
It won't make a difference, really.
I have kids to think about.
No one would blame me for not going out. Some would call me stupid and unwise if I did.
But if I don't go.... if WE don't go.... "crime" does creep up to our doorstep. Crime in the form of people, making desperate choices, missing out on something more. On Someone more.
Because we're too scared to offer the name of our God to transform the "lawbreaker". Because we've decided the prostitute probably wouldn't be open to Him changing her life. Because that's just a bit more messy than we like to deal with.
A reminder to myself, and to you, if you need it.
The gates of Hell will not prevail against that Name... so we have nothing to lose.
"He is no fool, who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what He cannot lose."
And she has everything to gain. Such is the preciousness of the gospel.
She, though she doesn't believe it yet, and may consider me a fool to suggest it, is the target of Christ's affection. I don't have to prove it to her... He has, and will.
But He has entrusted the telling her of that to me. To let her in on it. To show her. To help her believe He could love her by showing her I can and do. To love Him more than I think about myself so she has a shot of receiving all He offers her. To invite her back into my home... back on my couch. To eat together, and laugh together again.
And maybe, to give her a chance for freedom.
If she doesn't take the offer... I've nothing to loose.
If I don't make the offer... she's got nothing better than the corner at the end of my street.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I thought that was a boy thing....& other paradigms turned upside down...
About a week or so ago, we got together with a few couples to explore an opportunity to serve together in a ministry at Memorial. At the end of the evening, all of our kids were playing or asleep and so the adults gathered around on the floor to pray together over the discussion and possibilities.
Little did we know, while we were praying, Julia, of all people, was (VERY!) quietly tip-toeing planting fake spiders, bugs and scorpions all around us. It was when we finished and opened our eyes that we learned Shane May doesn't like spiders very much. :-)
I have to admit, I was half way impressed with her practical joke skills, until today. I was cleaning out a few closets to make a room ready for my brother-in-law to come and stay with us for the summer. Then I ran into a few of the fake spiders myself.
I decided I might prefer her being afraid of them after all.
****
I had said on the previous post that I would share some of the conversations that Eli and I had surrounding the discussion of "many gods" in the first grade classroom. The last week hasn't afforded extra time to do so until now.
It was an interesting discussion, to deal with Eli's convictions and doubts that the class at presented at the same time. His simple questions included many deeper ones that we grapple with in trying to either believe in or understand God. Sometimes we fear the questions. I have learned though, that fearing the questions results in shallow faith, which isn't what I want to hand on to my child. I won't share all of the questions that came up... but I encourage you to hear the other questions encompassed in the ones your kids ask. And I encourage you to not be afraid to explore for the answers. What I learned from this discussion is that God is right.. His word is living and active... and sticks.
"Mom? The teacher said that the Indians prayed to the rain gods and it rained?"
It just doesn't make sense, does it? We are tempted to think the best move on God's part, if He's trying to convince the world He's real, would be to make every experience like Elijah's...(1 Kings 18)- to only pour out rain to the one who asks the right God. But thankfully, God doesn't fit our shallow mold. We opened Eli's bible and read in Matthew 5:45:
"He causes his sun to shine on evil people and good people. He sends rain on those who do right and those who don't."
There is such depth for our kids and for us alike to understand in that simple verse. If our God can pour out the essentials of life to those who despise or disbelieve Him as equally as to those who love Him...we can too. Ironically that would be one indicator of this God not being created by man... He doesn't fit any paradigm of ours. Those who believe in Him spend most of their life submitting themselves to being transformed to His way of thinking because it doesn't at all come naturally! (I loved someone making the point once that we never have to be taught to sin...but we do have to be taught not to.)
... God takes us far beyond the superficial "being good" that people first think of associating Christianity with. If we let Him, He moves us into absolutely illogical realms of self denial and love that don't come "naturally" to anyone. It is an other-worldly love.
***
In the conversations we had, Eli became conflicted about feeling that the truths we were reading needed to be shared, and yet he felt a little afraid that his teacher would get mad at him. I told Eli that Jason and I would go in and talk to her about the discussion.
"No Mom... I want to talk to my teacher about this. By myself."
I wondered why he became very adamant at this point. So I asked him, at which point he began to flip through his Bible to explain himself. He flipped throught Proverbs and searched for a minute before pointing me to Proverbs 12:1 and said "Here - this is it."
"Anyone who loves to be trained loves knowledge. Anyone who hates to be corrected is stupid." - Prov. 12:1
I laughed out loud and then explained that while that verse had great truth and merit to it, I didn't think it would be the one he would be taking in to his teacher. But he was already looking again, realizing it wasn't exactly what he had meant.
Finally, he found Proverbs 12:24:
"Hands that work hard will rule. But people who don't want to work will become slaves."
Now this was the interesting thing for me. About 3 weeks earlier I had explained to Eli the concept of plagiarism while he was researching and writing a little report. I walked away, only to come back to a completely "copied and pasted" work he tried (intently) to pass off as his own. The consequence of the action was to spend a little time each day on the report until it was due, (about 5 days later) and in addition he had to write this verse out each day.
And this was the verse that came to his heart... uniquely applied to a different situation ( which is huge in the Asperger's realm of thinking!!). It was not for him to pass off a difficult situation to mom and dad. It was for him to own it.
I hadn't counted on the verse sticking and making an impact like that. But what an incredible lesson I learned when it did.
We talked a lot more, and finally he went to bed.
Eli woke up the next morning, agitated and angry. I quickly realized from conversation it was because he was conflicted... wanting to share truth of his understanding and wanting to avoid tension he felt he would encounter. So he was caught somewhere between wanting to not go to school and wanting to leave and go straight to her room.
Been there too?
We had also poured over his conflicted emotions the night before about encountering someone you like and yet believing their teaching to be in error. How do you balance conviction and truth with respect and love, especially in the culture we live in today. It's not easy. It is a balance, (especially with the way Eli's mind processes things), to teach why we firmly believe the existence of God is undeniable, - and worth sharing with others, and still help him navigate social interaction with confidence about those beliefs and genuine love and respect of others. One doesn't have to have Asperger's to blunder in that department, (!) but it does make teaching sensitivity a little trickier without watering down convictions.
We drove to school having decided he would wait until Jason and I could set up a time with this teacher to talk together. We arrived at school and as he was getting out he changed his mind, and grabbed the bible out of my purse, intent on showing her what he'd learned right away.
(Again, the beauty of Asperger's is that it doesn't have to wait for a rational moment to discuss what's important. That's one thing I honestly love about him...:-) So I parked and came back in to the school to take him and find the teacher . It was a great experience. It was a real experience. And we continue to grow, and learn.
Overall what I learned again was this: don't be afraid to put the Bible in your kids hands at every opportunity. Don't be afraid of their questions. They might ask one you were afraid too. Don't be afraid of the God who will answer and don't be afraid of where He might take you with the truth or His timing. You may learn your fear was holding you back from the best reality ever.
Little did we know, while we were praying, Julia, of all people, was (VERY!) quietly tip-toeing planting fake spiders, bugs and scorpions all around us. It was when we finished and opened our eyes that we learned Shane May doesn't like spiders very much. :-)
I have to admit, I was half way impressed with her practical joke skills, until today. I was cleaning out a few closets to make a room ready for my brother-in-law to come and stay with us for the summer. Then I ran into a few of the fake spiders myself.
I decided I might prefer her being afraid of them after all.
****
I had said on the previous post that I would share some of the conversations that Eli and I had surrounding the discussion of "many gods" in the first grade classroom. The last week hasn't afforded extra time to do so until now.
It was an interesting discussion, to deal with Eli's convictions and doubts that the class at presented at the same time. His simple questions included many deeper ones that we grapple with in trying to either believe in or understand God. Sometimes we fear the questions. I have learned though, that fearing the questions results in shallow faith, which isn't what I want to hand on to my child. I won't share all of the questions that came up... but I encourage you to hear the other questions encompassed in the ones your kids ask. And I encourage you to not be afraid to explore for the answers. What I learned from this discussion is that God is right.. His word is living and active... and sticks.
"Mom? The teacher said that the Indians prayed to the rain gods and it rained?"
It just doesn't make sense, does it? We are tempted to think the best move on God's part, if He's trying to convince the world He's real, would be to make every experience like Elijah's...(1 Kings 18)- to only pour out rain to the one who asks the right God. But thankfully, God doesn't fit our shallow mold. We opened Eli's bible and read in Matthew 5:45:
"He causes his sun to shine on evil people and good people. He sends rain on those who do right and those who don't."
There is such depth for our kids and for us alike to understand in that simple verse. If our God can pour out the essentials of life to those who despise or disbelieve Him as equally as to those who love Him...we can too. Ironically that would be one indicator of this God not being created by man... He doesn't fit any paradigm of ours. Those who believe in Him spend most of their life submitting themselves to being transformed to His way of thinking because it doesn't at all come naturally! (I loved someone making the point once that we never have to be taught to sin...but we do have to be taught not to.)
... God takes us far beyond the superficial "being good" that people first think of associating Christianity with. If we let Him, He moves us into absolutely illogical realms of self denial and love that don't come "naturally" to anyone. It is an other-worldly love.
***
In the conversations we had, Eli became conflicted about feeling that the truths we were reading needed to be shared, and yet he felt a little afraid that his teacher would get mad at him. I told Eli that Jason and I would go in and talk to her about the discussion.
"No Mom... I want to talk to my teacher about this. By myself."
I wondered why he became very adamant at this point. So I asked him, at which point he began to flip through his Bible to explain himself. He flipped throught Proverbs and searched for a minute before pointing me to Proverbs 12:1 and said "Here - this is it."
"Anyone who loves to be trained loves knowledge. Anyone who hates to be corrected is stupid." - Prov. 12:1
I laughed out loud and then explained that while that verse had great truth and merit to it, I didn't think it would be the one he would be taking in to his teacher. But he was already looking again, realizing it wasn't exactly what he had meant.
Finally, he found Proverbs 12:24:
"Hands that work hard will rule. But people who don't want to work will become slaves."
Now this was the interesting thing for me. About 3 weeks earlier I had explained to Eli the concept of plagiarism while he was researching and writing a little report. I walked away, only to come back to a completely "copied and pasted" work he tried (intently) to pass off as his own. The consequence of the action was to spend a little time each day on the report until it was due, (about 5 days later) and in addition he had to write this verse out each day.
And this was the verse that came to his heart... uniquely applied to a different situation ( which is huge in the Asperger's realm of thinking!!). It was not for him to pass off a difficult situation to mom and dad. It was for him to own it.
I hadn't counted on the verse sticking and making an impact like that. But what an incredible lesson I learned when it did.
We talked a lot more, and finally he went to bed.
Eli woke up the next morning, agitated and angry. I quickly realized from conversation it was because he was conflicted... wanting to share truth of his understanding and wanting to avoid tension he felt he would encounter. So he was caught somewhere between wanting to not go to school and wanting to leave and go straight to her room.
Been there too?
We had also poured over his conflicted emotions the night before about encountering someone you like and yet believing their teaching to be in error. How do you balance conviction and truth with respect and love, especially in the culture we live in today. It's not easy. It is a balance, (especially with the way Eli's mind processes things), to teach why we firmly believe the existence of God is undeniable, - and worth sharing with others, and still help him navigate social interaction with confidence about those beliefs and genuine love and respect of others. One doesn't have to have Asperger's to blunder in that department, (!) but it does make teaching sensitivity a little trickier without watering down convictions.
We drove to school having decided he would wait until Jason and I could set up a time with this teacher to talk together. We arrived at school and as he was getting out he changed his mind, and grabbed the bible out of my purse, intent on showing her what he'd learned right away.
(Again, the beauty of Asperger's is that it doesn't have to wait for a rational moment to discuss what's important. That's one thing I honestly love about him...:-) So I parked and came back in to the school to take him and find the teacher . It was a great experience. It was a real experience. And we continue to grow, and learn.
Overall what I learned again was this: don't be afraid to put the Bible in your kids hands at every opportunity. Don't be afraid of their questions. They might ask one you were afraid too. Don't be afraid of the God who will answer and don't be afraid of where He might take you with the truth or His timing. You may learn your fear was holding you back from the best reality ever.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Eli was in a class at school where they were making rain sticks, and in learning about the culture, learned that the Indians called on the rain-gods by using these sticks to ask for rain. He challenged this idea, saying that he believed in only one God. And he came home having to grapple with the voices of our culture, even in 1st grade.
“That’s okay for you to believe, but others believe differently, and they are right too.”
“I believe in many gods – whatever you believe is fine, but don’t try to make others believe what you do.”
“Well, the Indians prayed to their rain god and he answered them, so…”
Eli was really troubled by this, especially since it had come mostly from a teacher. (Not Cindy, for those of you wondering, but another teacher we love and appreciate greatly….) And honestly, as he recounted the phrases that stuck in his head, I was troubled too.
The questions the world will ask of our faith are hard. And legitimate.
As a momma, I, like everyone, felt conflicting feelings.
I want to protect him. I revisited considerations I’ve had of private school and homeschool. I wanted to confront the teachings…and remind the staff member that separation of church and state means they can’t teach my child what to believe or not believe… I wanted to avoid. Because I hate confrontation altogether. And, I wanted to take advantage of a great opportunity.
Eli had conflicting feelings too.
I don’t want to go back. What if she gets mad at me again? I want to teach her about One God! I don’t think I should learn anything from her if she teaches a lie. I don’t like her anymore…
Ever been there? It doesn’t just happen in 1st grade.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… (1 Peter 3:15)
The problem is that too often, we settle. We tell God He’s not worth the fight. Or we let culture tell us it’s not polite to assert our faith in the presence of others who think differently. Or we run over people so fast with our beliefs that they can barely catch their breath, let alone catch a glimpse of where they fit in it all. Sometimes we hide behind law, or we let others tell us we have to. Or for some of us, the conflict is so intimidating, we let the struggle be killed by worries and anxieties in our mind before it ever has any effect on our actions at all….
This led to some pretty insightful conversations between Eli and I that I will share over the next few posts… they may not be profound to the world, but the two of us learned a lot from God’s word and His spirit…and had some funnies happen too. All good things from Him are worth sharing. So are weaknesses sometimes. None of us are superheros. Raising our kids to be “in the world but not of the world” can be painful, challenging, confusing, and rewarding...but it's a worthy pursuit.
1st grade’s not to early … to be asked hard questions, or to learn that faith really can answer them.
“That’s okay for you to believe, but others believe differently, and they are right too.”
“I believe in many gods – whatever you believe is fine, but don’t try to make others believe what you do.”
“Well, the Indians prayed to their rain god and he answered them, so…”
Eli was really troubled by this, especially since it had come mostly from a teacher. (Not Cindy, for those of you wondering, but another teacher we love and appreciate greatly….) And honestly, as he recounted the phrases that stuck in his head, I was troubled too.
The questions the world will ask of our faith are hard. And legitimate.
As a momma, I, like everyone, felt conflicting feelings.
I want to protect him. I revisited considerations I’ve had of private school and homeschool. I wanted to confront the teachings…and remind the staff member that separation of church and state means they can’t teach my child what to believe or not believe… I wanted to avoid. Because I hate confrontation altogether. And, I wanted to take advantage of a great opportunity.
Eli had conflicting feelings too.
I don’t want to go back. What if she gets mad at me again? I want to teach her about One God! I don’t think I should learn anything from her if she teaches a lie. I don’t like her anymore…
Ever been there? It doesn’t just happen in 1st grade.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… (1 Peter 3:15)
The problem is that too often, we settle. We tell God He’s not worth the fight. Or we let culture tell us it’s not polite to assert our faith in the presence of others who think differently. Or we run over people so fast with our beliefs that they can barely catch their breath, let alone catch a glimpse of where they fit in it all. Sometimes we hide behind law, or we let others tell us we have to. Or for some of us, the conflict is so intimidating, we let the struggle be killed by worries and anxieties in our mind before it ever has any effect on our actions at all….
This led to some pretty insightful conversations between Eli and I that I will share over the next few posts… they may not be profound to the world, but the two of us learned a lot from God’s word and His spirit…and had some funnies happen too. All good things from Him are worth sharing. So are weaknesses sometimes. None of us are superheros. Raising our kids to be “in the world but not of the world” can be painful, challenging, confusing, and rewarding...but it's a worthy pursuit.
1st grade’s not to early … to be asked hard questions, or to learn that faith really can answer them.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Cindy has been Eli's teacher for the last two years - and will be a dear friend for many to come. I said before - she is a blessing directly from God. She has more talent and ability than should be alotted to one person... but as long as our family is blessed by it I'm okay with it...:-)
For my birthday, she put together this fun video of Eli's firstgrade year. She is so special to us - and is a good one for tear-jerker gifts! Thank you Cindy!
For my birthday, she put together this fun video of Eli's firstgrade year. She is so special to us - and is a good one for tear-jerker gifts! Thank you Cindy!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Catch up
So tonight is my short chance for catch-up. I think Angie calls it a blog blitz...so that's what I'm doing tonight!
* * *
Tonight, Eli picked up a Kaleidoscope of mine from when I was little.
Eli - "Mom, this is a good way to look for God."
Me- "How so?"
Eli- "Because you have to look at the light - and when you do, you see all sorts of new colors in life."
That kid is seriously cool, sometimes.
* * *
If you want to crack up, check out another Eli's videos !! Eli's a friend who we got to hang out with for a couple of days - a rare treat for us. He's a minister in California, and he and his wife are just people you know are pretty incredible from the moment you meet them. You can pick any video and crack up, but the two on the bottom, left-hand side of his home page are my favorite. My kids can't stop watching it. :-)
* * *
My birthday was Tuesday, and for the first time, Eli bought me something that he completely picked out and paid for on his own. It was a huge jug of purple lavender bubble bath. He told me he hoped I could " at least get two bubble baths out of it." :-) It was the best gift ever. I seriously didn't know how precious that would be.
* * *
I'm sold on two books that I have to share.
First, - as I've said before, I'm not a fiction reader, normally. But I'd heard a couple of times that I really needed to read "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers.
It's a retelling of sorts of the book of Hosea, set in the 1850's . I have fallen in love with it. I'm not even sure I can come close to doing it justice in reviewing it... but the gut wrenching journey it takes you on as you live out each character is amazing... bringing me to "a-ha" moments about myself at every chapter. The many opposing emotions we grapple with in ourselves find a voice and a character - and the illogical, unreasonable pursuit of us that God initiates despite our best efforts to thwart Him take shape - and begin to make sense -both inspiring me accept love and to offer love to others with equal abandon.
The second book that I've been really challenged by is called "Stripped: Uncensored Grace on the Streets of Las Vegas", by Jud Wilhite.
I'll be honest... as I stepped into the first chapter - I was frustrated with where I thought the author was going... & wanted to throw it away. But knowing my friend Stu doesn't waste time with the books he recommends, I decided to keep going - and it turned a lot upside down for me, - thankfully so.
At one point I was appalled, only to have my hypocrisy gently revealed to me. Truth wrestled open the door of some convictions I had left untouched and un-dealt with - unravelling the false sense of security I had built around them and making the uncertainity of grace not only more certain and but more justified.
Here's one of more than a few underlined passages in the book:
"Too often we mistake grace for weakness, forgiveness for giving in. We see strength only in pointing out sin and stomping on it until it's dead. But in Jesus we find someone who has no patience for those more concerned with enforcing the rules than helping others. Though He was perfect and, therefore, in a position to judge and punish all of us, Jesus showed us a different kind of strength, a strength found in grace, compassion and forgiveness.
Jesus had a way about Him that caused people to feel they could approach Him. Children ran to Him and sat in His lap. Women were drawn to Him and His message in a culture that oppressed women. His inclusiveness shook people. He related to those of another race and religion (Samaritans), those of questionable professions, and members of the religious elite. He challenged all to love their neighbors, care for the poor, and live toward God. He showed grace to those who needed it most. But, if I may be blunt, He was not a wuss...."
Both books do an incredible job of inspiring one to step up to the plate with the difficulties of offering grace.... and firmly reminding us of the reasons why.
* * *
* * *
Tonight, Eli picked up a Kaleidoscope of mine from when I was little.
Eli - "Mom, this is a good way to look for God."
Me- "How so?"
Eli- "Because you have to look at the light - and when you do, you see all sorts of new colors in life."
That kid is seriously cool, sometimes.
* * *
If you want to crack up, check out another Eli's videos !! Eli's a friend who we got to hang out with for a couple of days - a rare treat for us. He's a minister in California, and he and his wife are just people you know are pretty incredible from the moment you meet them. You can pick any video and crack up, but the two on the bottom, left-hand side of his home page are my favorite. My kids can't stop watching it. :-)
* * *
My birthday was Tuesday, and for the first time, Eli bought me something that he completely picked out and paid for on his own. It was a huge jug of purple lavender bubble bath. He told me he hoped I could " at least get two bubble baths out of it." :-) It was the best gift ever. I seriously didn't know how precious that would be.
* * *
I'm sold on two books that I have to share.
First, - as I've said before, I'm not a fiction reader, normally. But I'd heard a couple of times that I really needed to read "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers.
It's a retelling of sorts of the book of Hosea, set in the 1850's . I have fallen in love with it. I'm not even sure I can come close to doing it justice in reviewing it... but the gut wrenching journey it takes you on as you live out each character is amazing... bringing me to "a-ha" moments about myself at every chapter. The many opposing emotions we grapple with in ourselves find a voice and a character - and the illogical, unreasonable pursuit of us that God initiates despite our best efforts to thwart Him take shape - and begin to make sense -both inspiring me accept love and to offer love to others with equal abandon.
The second book that I've been really challenged by is called "Stripped: Uncensored Grace on the Streets of Las Vegas", by Jud Wilhite.
I'll be honest... as I stepped into the first chapter - I was frustrated with where I thought the author was going... & wanted to throw it away. But knowing my friend Stu doesn't waste time with the books he recommends, I decided to keep going - and it turned a lot upside down for me, - thankfully so.At one point I was appalled, only to have my hypocrisy gently revealed to me. Truth wrestled open the door of some convictions I had left untouched and un-dealt with - unravelling the false sense of security I had built around them and making the uncertainity of grace not only more certain and but more justified.
Here's one of more than a few underlined passages in the book:
"Too often we mistake grace for weakness, forgiveness for giving in. We see strength only in pointing out sin and stomping on it until it's dead. But in Jesus we find someone who has no patience for those more concerned with enforcing the rules than helping others. Though He was perfect and, therefore, in a position to judge and punish all of us, Jesus showed us a different kind of strength, a strength found in grace, compassion and forgiveness.
Jesus had a way about Him that caused people to feel they could approach Him. Children ran to Him and sat in His lap. Women were drawn to Him and His message in a culture that oppressed women. His inclusiveness shook people. He related to those of another race and religion (Samaritans), those of questionable professions, and members of the religious elite. He challenged all to love their neighbors, care for the poor, and live toward God. He showed grace to those who needed it most. But, if I may be blunt, He was not a wuss...."
Both books do an incredible job of inspiring one to step up to the plate with the difficulties of offering grace.... and firmly reminding us of the reasons why.
* * *
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Who needs cable when you have kids?
2 Funnies (from Julia) and a neat one (from Eli) for the night.
This morning Julia runs her finger from her shoulder to her wrist and says:
"I think my brains are coming down my arm."
I look at her for a moment, confused, but knowing she will never leave a void of air unfilled... so I wait.
"It makes me sad that other people can see their brains and I can't see mine."
"Do you mean 'veins'?" I ask.
"Ohhhh... yeah," She laughs.
Tonight, in her prayers, she prays for the chance to babysit Ms. Stacey's new dog. (They affectionately refer to it as the psycho dog.)
"But God, I hope he's not scared because then he might bite me, and I been bit before. In Jesus' name, Amen."
She then looks at me and decides to explain.
"You know one time Clancy (My brother-in-law's BIG dog) was around me. And I was by him, and then I didn't see my finger inside his mouth. Then he accidently bit me."
I hate it when that happens. But I do think we could go on the road with her show.
Eli prayed the sweetest prayer tonight, about our worship minister, Shane.
It started off like a pretty routine prayer, but became quite lengthy (for Eli) and centered around Shane. I can't remember all of it, but here were some of the things he said:
"God, thank you for Shane. I just really like him a lot and he is a nice man. When I am around him, He makes me just always think of God. He's like a robot. "
When I first heard him say that, I didn't know what he meant. But when he had finished praying he sort of repeated all of it to me, sharing his thoughts a little more. He said:
"Mom, Mr. Shane is like a robot because every time I'm around him, he always makes me think of God. Not everyone can do that, but with him, it's every time, I just automatically start thinking about God."
I thought that was a pretty impressive compliment. - And a true observation. :-)
This morning Julia runs her finger from her shoulder to her wrist and says:
"I think my brains are coming down my arm."
I look at her for a moment, confused, but knowing she will never leave a void of air unfilled... so I wait.
"It makes me sad that other people can see their brains and I can't see mine."
"Do you mean 'veins'?" I ask.
"Ohhhh... yeah," She laughs.
Tonight, in her prayers, she prays for the chance to babysit Ms. Stacey's new dog. (They affectionately refer to it as the psycho dog.)
"But God, I hope he's not scared because then he might bite me, and I been bit before. In Jesus' name, Amen."
She then looks at me and decides to explain.
"You know one time Clancy (My brother-in-law's BIG dog) was around me. And I was by him, and then I didn't see my finger inside his mouth. Then he accidently bit me."
I hate it when that happens. But I do think we could go on the road with her show.
Eli prayed the sweetest prayer tonight, about our worship minister, Shane.
It started off like a pretty routine prayer, but became quite lengthy (for Eli) and centered around Shane. I can't remember all of it, but here were some of the things he said:
"God, thank you for Shane. I just really like him a lot and he is a nice man. When I am around him, He makes me just always think of God. He's like a robot. "
When I first heard him say that, I didn't know what he meant. But when he had finished praying he sort of repeated all of it to me, sharing his thoughts a little more. He said:
"Mom, Mr. Shane is like a robot because every time I'm around him, he always makes me think of God. Not everyone can do that, but with him, it's every time, I just automatically start thinking about God."
I thought that was a pretty impressive compliment. - And a true observation. :-)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Ahoy there!
Sadly, I think I've passed on whatever it was I had to my family.
Tonight, Julia was whiny and complaining of feeling cold. I asked her if she was feeling bad.
"Yeah. I think I'm seasick."
:-)
Tonight, Julia was whiny and complaining of feeling cold. I asked her if she was feeling bad.
"Yeah. I think I'm seasick."
:-)
Wednesday. (Because sometimes you just don't have the energy to be creative with a title.)
I'm a few days late in catching this, but DOUG had some great insight into why AIM-a-Palooza was so special to some of us...
I was feeling pretty bad & spent a rare day in bed today. Julia, always wanting to "pretend play" and yet wanting to be sensitive, had the perfect idea:
"Momma, I know! Why don't you be the girl who's sick and sleeps for many hours?"
Thanks Jules... I think I will. :-)
I was feeling pretty bad & spent a rare day in bed today. Julia, always wanting to "pretend play" and yet wanting to be sensitive, had the perfect idea:
"Momma, I know! Why don't you be the girl who's sick and sleeps for many hours?"
Thanks Jules... I think I will. :-)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Rainbow Hands
So in December, our fam went to Branson. We'd been a couple of times, but never in the winter and it was BEAUTIFUL! We had a magical time. With the exception of the rainbow hands.
It was one of those souvenier booths that I usually pass right by ... but this one really caught my eye. You dipped your hand ( or hands if you wanted one of you & someone special) into a vat of wax until the mold formed, and then they painted and decorated it for you. They were really cute, and though a bit overpriced, I thought it was worth it. Not like it's a t-shirt you spill chocolate milk on and then throw away. No... I had visions of it capturing history. I asked Julia if she'd do it with me. What a picture for years to come!?!... my precious little girl's hand tucked sweetly in mine capturing the moment she would quickly outgrow....
The process was simple enough... hold hands, then dip them for about 20 seconds in the warm wax, then holding the form dip them into ice water for another 20 seconds... and repeat this about 4 times back and forth until the mold forms. Then slip your hands out, and they paint and decorate it right before your eyes.
Julia was on board. At first. Then she got scared. Then she started crying and didn't want to do it. I talk her into it, step forward,only to hear the owner tell me he really didn't let kids as little as her do it because they usually weren't still enough. Then she starts crying because he won't let her do it. Another customer steps forward and we move off to the side... Jason wants to forget it and walk away, I really want to do it, and Julia is still crying - now because she wants to do it yet is still scared, and mad.
When the other customer is done, and no one is around, I ask the owner if he would just try for us. He agrees, and Julia reluctantly steps up, Jason rolls his eyes, and I try and talk excitedly about this fun thing that were are about to do together!
So we put Julia up on this little stool so she's high enough to dip her hands into the two barrels, and get started. We start with the ice water so the wax only feels warm. Now understand... neither sensation is really extreme or uncomfortable... just funny feeling as you went from one to the other. But as we start... Julia decides that she doesn't want to do it any more... and starts pulling away and crying. I however, have determined that we have made enough of a scene that we are not turning back. So I grip her hand to hold it in form, she cries ( loudly) and I smile and offer encouraging words as I fake appearing completely oblivious to the whole thing.
When we finally complete the process and remove our hands... there it is: that sweet beautiful, history capturing moment of me death gripping Julia's hand.
Somehow, it seemed the appropriate moment to catch in a permanent mold.
That little mold sits on her bookcase in her room, now. This morning she randomly pops up and says, "Momma, some things I want to stay with me forever."
"Like what?" I ask. "My Rainbow Hands." She answered.
She takes them down and often shows anyone who visits. I catch her playing with it every now and then. (Even when she's not supposed to.) She loves it.
Isn't that ironically true of some of our more traumatic moments in life?
If we let them, they become the moments that redefine us. God gently walks us forth,despite the fact that our heels are dug in and our protests loud.Our fear becomes so overwhelming and our cries so adamant that we become oblivious to the comfort of His presence beside us and His hand holding ours, experiencing everything we are desperate to get away from right along with us. And then it's over. And as tears clear and time passes, one day that moment which we had feared becomes the moment we value. Sometimes we even treasure it. It some small way, it is a humble symbol of what we learned that we could survive -when we learned that He really did create us differently than we had always seen ourselves.... When we realized that the death grip showed that He was bigger than what we were afraid of ..
Those rainbow hands were worth the price... and ended up capturing way more than just a moment for us...
It was one of those souvenier booths that I usually pass right by ... but this one really caught my eye. You dipped your hand ( or hands if you wanted one of you & someone special) into a vat of wax until the mold formed, and then they painted and decorated it for you. They were really cute, and though a bit overpriced, I thought it was worth it. Not like it's a t-shirt you spill chocolate milk on and then throw away. No... I had visions of it capturing history. I asked Julia if she'd do it with me. What a picture for years to come!?!... my precious little girl's hand tucked sweetly in mine capturing the moment she would quickly outgrow....
The process was simple enough... hold hands, then dip them for about 20 seconds in the warm wax, then holding the form dip them into ice water for another 20 seconds... and repeat this about 4 times back and forth until the mold forms. Then slip your hands out, and they paint and decorate it right before your eyes.
Julia was on board. At first. Then she got scared. Then she started crying and didn't want to do it. I talk her into it, step forward,only to hear the owner tell me he really didn't let kids as little as her do it because they usually weren't still enough. Then she starts crying because he won't let her do it. Another customer steps forward and we move off to the side... Jason wants to forget it and walk away, I really want to do it, and Julia is still crying - now because she wants to do it yet is still scared, and mad.
When the other customer is done, and no one is around, I ask the owner if he would just try for us. He agrees, and Julia reluctantly steps up, Jason rolls his eyes, and I try and talk excitedly about this fun thing that were are about to do together!
So we put Julia up on this little stool so she's high enough to dip her hands into the two barrels, and get started. We start with the ice water so the wax only feels warm. Now understand... neither sensation is really extreme or uncomfortable... just funny feeling as you went from one to the other. But as we start... Julia decides that she doesn't want to do it any more... and starts pulling away and crying. I however, have determined that we have made enough of a scene that we are not turning back. So I grip her hand to hold it in form, she cries ( loudly) and I smile and offer encouraging words as I fake appearing completely oblivious to the whole thing.
When we finally complete the process and remove our hands... there it is: that sweet beautiful, history capturing moment of me death gripping Julia's hand.
Somehow, it seemed the appropriate moment to catch in a permanent mold.
That little mold sits on her bookcase in her room, now. This morning she randomly pops up and says, "Momma, some things I want to stay with me forever."
"Like what?" I ask. "My Rainbow Hands." She answered.
She takes them down and often shows anyone who visits. I catch her playing with it every now and then. (Even when she's not supposed to.) She loves it.
Isn't that ironically true of some of our more traumatic moments in life?
If we let them, they become the moments that redefine us. God gently walks us forth,despite the fact that our heels are dug in and our protests loud.Our fear becomes so overwhelming and our cries so adamant that we become oblivious to the comfort of His presence beside us and His hand holding ours, experiencing everything we are desperate to get away from right along with us. And then it's over. And as tears clear and time passes, one day that moment which we had feared becomes the moment we value. Sometimes we even treasure it. It some small way, it is a humble symbol of what we learned that we could survive -when we learned that He really did create us differently than we had always seen ourselves.... When we realized that the death grip showed that He was bigger than what we were afraid of ..
Those rainbow hands were worth the price... and ended up capturing way more than just a moment for us...
Saturday, April 07, 2007
You know your child doesn't get out much past 8 pm when....
Julia and I were reading her Bible for bedtime last night. She got a new Bible , and so we decided since we were "upgrading" from the story books to her first real "big" Bible, we'd start at the beginning... so creation was covered the first night. She knew a lot already so we were having fun "filling in the blanks" as I would read.
We got to day four...
"God made two great lights. He made the larger light to rule over the day. He made the smaller light to rule over the night. He also made the stars."
Me : "Julia, what was the bigger light God made to rule over the day?"
Julia: "The Sun!"
Me: Good! And what was the smaller light God made to rule over the night?"
Julia: "The light switch?"
Tonight she couldn't go to sleep. So after a few futile attempts to get out of bed, she brings me this conversation...:
"Mom, my finger feels funny."
Me: "Okay."
"It feels like there's blood in it."
Me: "Well, Jules, there is blood in it but that's a good thing."
"Maybe it feels that way because of the ketchup I'm eating."
(Those of you with 5 year olds know you can't laugh in their face.) So I swallow my laugh and suggest that maybe she should quit eating ketchup.
"No!! I love ketchup!"
Me: "Well..."
Julia : "But if it happens again in the morning, I'll stop eating ketchup."
I don't know what we'll do if she decides to do that. It's her only daily vegetable serving....
We got to day four...
"God made two great lights. He made the larger light to rule over the day. He made the smaller light to rule over the night. He also made the stars."
Me : "Julia, what was the bigger light God made to rule over the day?"
Julia: "The Sun!"
Me: Good! And what was the smaller light God made to rule over the night?"
Julia: "The light switch?"
Tonight she couldn't go to sleep. So after a few futile attempts to get out of bed, she brings me this conversation...:
"Mom, my finger feels funny."
Me: "Okay."
"It feels like there's blood in it."
Me: "Well, Jules, there is blood in it but that's a good thing."
"Maybe it feels that way because of the ketchup I'm eating."
(Those of you with 5 year olds know you can't laugh in their face.) So I swallow my laugh and suggest that maybe she should quit eating ketchup.
"No!! I love ketchup!"
Me: "Well..."
Julia : "But if it happens again in the morning, I'll stop eating ketchup."
I don't know what we'll do if she decides to do that. It's her only daily vegetable serving....
A must read for this weekend ( and any time you want to Worship.)
Lindsay is a friend.... a teen mature and wise beyond her years, (and often my years too!) and gifted by God in her ability to write... not just write, -but communicate from and to the heart. Her privacy and humility run deep and yet her submission to God runs deeper ... her desire that He be glorifed outweighed her desire for privacy in her worship of Him in writing this. And I'm thankful that she let us share in it. You will be blessed. It is a poem she wrote after she watched ?THIS VIDEO
on Brenda's blog. If you haven't watched it yet, do so... then read Lindsay's heart... and let it fill and speak to yours.
What can I do but thank You?
What can I do but thank You?
You gave Your life for me
In spite of all the wrong I do
Can I anything but grateful be?
Humbling Yourself to death on a cross
Painful, horrible and cruel
Giving Yourself that I might not be lost
Lord, forgive me, a fool
A fool for knowing the price You paid
And doing my own will anyway
A fool because on You my sins were laid
Yet I give you not even a part of my day
How undeserving I am of this love
This marvelous gift of Your grace
Heaven’s perfect Lamb, come down from above
Meeting me here, face to face
Though You were perfect, for me You were crushed
We tried to destroy heaven’s best
Taking my sins, You ground them to dust
And carried them farther than East is from West
What can I do but thank You?
In spite of our very best swing
Up from the grave You arose like new
Taking away all death’s sting
You triumphed over death
Your victory can’t be denied
Let me praise You with my every breath
You have wiped away all the tears that I cried
Jesus, Your Father has lifted You high
Your name is exalted eternally
At the sound of Your name, all creation cries
“Holy, holy is He!”
Seated, now, at the right hand of God
You wait patiently there on Your throne
But You’ll jump to Your feet when He gives you the nod
And come back to take all Yours home
Until then I’ll wait, blessing Your name
Praising You for all that You’ve done and You do
Because of Your love, I’ll never be the same
What can I do but thank You
on Brenda's blog. If you haven't watched it yet, do so... then read Lindsay's heart... and let it fill and speak to yours.
What can I do but thank You?
What can I do but thank You?
You gave Your life for me
In spite of all the wrong I do
Can I anything but grateful be?
Humbling Yourself to death on a cross
Painful, horrible and cruel
Giving Yourself that I might not be lost
Lord, forgive me, a fool
A fool for knowing the price You paid
And doing my own will anyway
A fool because on You my sins were laid
Yet I give you not even a part of my day
How undeserving I am of this love
This marvelous gift of Your grace
Heaven’s perfect Lamb, come down from above
Meeting me here, face to face
Though You were perfect, for me You were crushed
We tried to destroy heaven’s best
Taking my sins, You ground them to dust
And carried them farther than East is from West
What can I do but thank You?
In spite of our very best swing
Up from the grave You arose like new
Taking away all death’s sting
You triumphed over death
Your victory can’t be denied
Let me praise You with my every breath
You have wiped away all the tears that I cried
Jesus, Your Father has lifted You high
Your name is exalted eternally
At the sound of Your name, all creation cries
“Holy, holy is He!”
Seated, now, at the right hand of God
You wait patiently there on Your throne
But You’ll jump to Your feet when He gives you the nod
And come back to take all Yours home
Until then I’ll wait, blessing Your name
Praising You for all that You’ve done and You do
Because of Your love, I’ll never be the same
What can I do but thank You
Good Friday
Tonight we had an AMAZING time of worship at a friends home.
On the way there, since this was out of our usual routine, I explained to Eli and Julia what the evening would be like.
Julia said: "I know! Let's praise the Lord first, eat second, and play third! "
We all laughed. I asked the kids if they knew what today was, and was getting ready to explain it to them when Eli surprised me by saying "I know! I know! Today is Good Friday!"
I was honestly surprised that he was aware, so I asked him how he knew.
He replied, "When Emmerson (a friend) and I got to school, we looked at our calendars and it said Good Friday. Then Emmerson told me all about it and then we went to the Lincoln Logs center and played Jesus and the cross.... Emmerson really reads his bible!!"
What a sweet blessing I almost didn't even know about. I'm thankful that God calls and teaches our children even when we are unaware.
Tonight we sat around a living room and sang, prayed, shared communion, and listened to thoughts on why indeed this was a good Friday. It was so good to be with friends who celebrated the redemption we have in Christ. It was a night I won't soon forget, commemorating a sacrifice we can never forget.
On the way there, since this was out of our usual routine, I explained to Eli and Julia what the evening would be like.
Julia said: "I know! Let's praise the Lord first, eat second, and play third! "
We all laughed. I asked the kids if they knew what today was, and was getting ready to explain it to them when Eli surprised me by saying "I know! I know! Today is Good Friday!"
I was honestly surprised that he was aware, so I asked him how he knew.
He replied, "When Emmerson (a friend) and I got to school, we looked at our calendars and it said Good Friday. Then Emmerson told me all about it and then we went to the Lincoln Logs center and played Jesus and the cross.... Emmerson really reads his bible!!"
What a sweet blessing I almost didn't even know about. I'm thankful that God calls and teaches our children even when we are unaware.
Tonight we sat around a living room and sang, prayed, shared communion, and listened to thoughts on why indeed this was a good Friday. It was so good to be with friends who celebrated the redemption we have in Christ. It was a night I won't soon forget, commemorating a sacrifice we can never forget.
Friday, April 06, 2007
A post I wish I'd written.....
My friend Heather makes a great point about what we're "comfortable" with...
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I don't know how to do You Tube yet... but
Brenda has this video on her blog. Wow. Take the time to watch & listen. It's worth it.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
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